Out of jail in nine months

Subject: Out of jail in nine months.

It's interesting how as the time ticks away and the countdown to the end of a 9 month pregnancy comes closer, the recognition that life will never be the same must dominate ones perception of the future. The creation process is often blurred in an act of what has become these days, recreation. The intention to have sex only when one wishes to have a baby is long gone and the strident need to have and enjoy sex has replaced the mystique of procreation as an act of giving birth to another life which, once born will have a life, eventually outside your own, with all the adjustments that that will bring.

The discomfort of carrying what initially was a benign cluster of cells, the foetus has grown into a 7 to 10lbs baby boy or girl,  a bundle of cells which have coalesced into this independent, attention seeking, addition to the human race, will soon be at an end. 
The birth is yet to come and for every woman there is some concern about the labour period and the elemental pressure it brings on each woman. It's a situation that no man experiences, it sets us apart in its fundamental life giving process. No longer a single girl,  now a mother with a mother's maternal feelings which again make women unique. 
It's the end of one process, that of being an individual to that of being a mother, a mother who begins the shadowy protective role of full time carer. A role that is thought instinctive but for some women is a chore whilst for others, a revelation. 
The child will benefit if it's the latter but will survive if the former, in fact too much of the self, given to the child can be a disadvantage if the child grows depending on the prop for constant attention. The balance of letting go of this unique event, giving birth is unique to each mother, of letting go, starting to begin to watch events from the sidelines in a way as a third party as the child develops.  Allowing the child to feel the pain of rejection as well as the power of successfully identifying its own needs come what may. The recognition that it's needs are not the parents needs and the success in parenting must lie in negotiating this difference. 
As a mother, you alone will experience the swings in hormonal imbalance, the mood swings, the frustration in rectifying the difference between what is real and what was fantasy. The hopes and fears are yours as you become more redundant in the process of finding a meaningful role to play alongside the role the child has set its heart upon. The late night worry is still a long way ahead as the rebellious teenager finds ways to experience life in ways which were thought outside the normal scheme of things only 20/30/40 years ago as each generation pushes back the boundaries of what was acceptable to the previous generation. As a mother you know the joy and the heart ache ahead.  Powerless to effect the future, except to make it cristal clear that you will always be there, come what may.