Dad's

Subject: Dad's

Who are they, what are they.
The traditional Dad was the head of the family, revered and trusted with sincere respect heaped up on him. He was revered for his knowledge and experience, he was accepted by the family as being the font of much sense, if not sensibility.
Today's Dad is a pale character to this semi historical image. He offers non of the structured strength and decision making of old, happy these days to defer the responsibility to his wife who, (clutching his wallet), is only too happy to dictate affairs.
Watching from my lonely table for one, I see the Dad paraded by his grown up children, as if he were a whimsy, a relic of the past, a person once feared, once accepted, now an outsider and irrelevant !   Placed at the head of the table his grandchildren  listen, with scarcely hidden boredom to his words of wisdom, so inappropriate to the modern world. His influence is still reflected in his daughters attention but clearly she feels more of an affinity with her mother. 

Mums are a different kettle of fish they have nurtured a life long collaborative link with their children which spills over into the adult relationship.  

Mums role as a mother, lends a certain intimate knowledge base which Dad has never experienced. Sitting around the table, the child centric topics to which they return again and again, leave Dad marooned in 'act one'. 

Relegated to finding work and focusing his energies outside the family he wasn't there at crucial times. His role today, as then, was that of an "observer" and what he sees is far from what he imagined when he entered the union, (if of course he imagined anything at all). 

His grand-children are either captivated by his historical recollections of sporting events or bored witless because their world has moved on and his experience is so out of date.
The suppositions we all make as to our own importance are never more challenged than by the 'age gap'. A gap which emphasises the self importance we place on everything, but which is lost on the following generation (our children) and further watered, a generation later by our grandchildren.
It's hardly a surprise that the 'fervour' we have as a 'seasoned' Dad  is light years away from what is happening at the table opposite. 

Dads continue to struggle to have much relevance or capture any of the limelight until, at the end of the meal, the bill is presented, and his plaintive voice is heard -"don't worry I will pay" !!