I find it abhorrent imagining two men having intercourse, two women, unusual but not abhorrent and yet when all is said and done it's only sex. Why do we make such a fuss over this primeval urge which is in all animals. There are many societies who are very comfortable and laid back about sex and I well remember, when I lived in Amsterdam in 1961 being a little embarrassed by the things on display in the sex shops and the encouragement from the women in the windows touting for business to come in. Sex in those situations was a commodity, plain and simple and the philosophy behind why we react differently and make a fuss is contained in our upbringing. In my own childhood there were certain, more risque Sunday newspapers and magazines which never crossed the over the threshold, it was thought prurient to read them and much like looking at topless page three girls in the tabloids, I still find it find it embarrassing. Films these days have to have a substantial sex element, the couple seen tearing off their clothes in an apparently insatiable desire to have intercourse, no attempt at subtly, no foreplay no tenderness only a primeval urge is on display. Perhaps on a rainy night in the backstreets of Barnsley, for a couple of teenagers with no where to go, ok but it portrays sex as uncontrollable and has to be sated immediately instead of a thoughtful consummation of trust and love between a man and a woman. I know today this might sound very Jane Austen'ish but I think, by making sex just a commodity we have lost its true purpose.
The sex industry, from fashion to porn has titivated our interest, as much because of the social and religious norms, as any biological drive. In the Victorian era, whilst clearly not across the the whole social spectrum, the sight of a girls ankle aroused more excitement than the ornamented bosom. Today full nudity has become either boring or embarrassing, the sex scene, now de rigour for many films, is so contrived in its routine that adequate dress and vulgar language which used to differentiate the gender now is used as a signal to confuses us as the female seeks to dominate the scene by revealing more and more of herself in what used to be called her intimate and private parts.
The much touted transference of a lead role between men and women is ambiguous to say the least, particularly in the job market where with exceptions it still seeks to exploit women particularly in their essential role of motherhood viv a via their attendance at the work place, although I draw a line at Ms Creasy's demand to breast feed in parliament which seems more of a feminists stunt than an actual need.
Even in the sex industry the illusion of the undernourished illiterate woman selling her body is brought up to date by the introduction of trade union rights.
The claim that sexual violence is on the increase is, in part due to men’s increasing feeling of impotence. The only thing now left in their armoury is their strength and their frustration in so many other historical aspects of their lives finds another complicated hurdle a bridge too far and they resort to force.
Sex now a days is overt and on demand and yet it's also seen as a violation of the innate integrity of a women’s body and it opens up the contradiction women feel towards the consequence if sex leads to pregnancy. Whilst it is just a pastime, outside the positive restorative relationship such as a long term relationship, (dare I say marriage) the point of doing something which can have life changing consequences such as giving birth must ring a different kind of bell in the girl than the boy and in less racy circumstances makes the journey into bed a different one.
Of course contraception, in what ever form it takes, displaces much of that integrity but having a child is a vastly different proposition for the woman and It all leads to great confusion from the boys point of view where sex is often driven by lust (perhaps in women also) and the consequences only faintly register. In my youth the only sure contraceptive was abstinence which in it's self eventually led to a more profound recognition of the unique place in society a women held.
Today's socially benign attitude to pregnancy and child rearing, especially the wider role of the mother has changed. It seems very strange to think that marriage used to play the part it did in the union and for some, was the precursor to having sex at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment