Redefining ourselves

How do we as human beings evaluate the effect others have on us, their proximity, their influence in terms of the daily interaction we have with them, the imposition of a qualifying effect on what we do and what we think.
Growing up we are constrained by our parents. Up to a certain stage we are oblivious of this since they, the parents, are our world and we have not formed any sense of our own independence. During our teenage years we sometimes overcompensate our own importance and clash continually with those who, up to now, have been the conduit through which we exist.

Moving away from home is our first attempt at self reliance and usually we stay closely in touch with our parents because they represent the strength of our childhood experience. 
Eventually if we are lucky we find the companionship of another and move in with that person under the same roof which eventually can lead to the start of ones own family and so the cycle repeats its self.
A common factor is the need to share our space with someone else.
The comfort we derive in sharing a flat with a friend or taking on a lodger is of a different magnitude to falling in love and committing ones self to a whole different ball game.
The intricacy of establishing a relationship in which the "significant other" is always in the loop and in essence a contributor to all your emotional and physical life, is an enormous step.
Few achieve a full and proper union. Some play around the edges by creating fields of interest which, whilst not excluding the other make it likely that for a few hours (other than time at work) a space is created and one can re-engage with ones old self.
The question of why and if this space is necessary and, more importantly, if this space becomes permanent through divorce or death, can one revert to being single ?
The insecurity that lies within many people can find solace in the companionship which a long relationship brings. It can be an important prop, often un-noticed and unappreciated but, like a foundation in a building, 'when called into question', can cause the structure to collapse.
The bond which is created when people live together (often subliminally) drives our everyday action and, through repetition, we become its slave. Like the slaves released from a lifetime of servitude they can not throw off, in a day, the sense of subservience which can remain often to the end.
Is it the tie of emotional love, or is it the many years of comfortable confinement which, like a prisoner, once released, finds it hard to exist on his own. The space and,most of all the silence is hard to cope with.
Relearning the confidence of ones youth is virtually impossible, the resilience and audacity are missing. The hunter is tamed and the essential "drive" is sublimated to a distant memory.
Of course once the genie is out of the bottle and a realignment with ones past self, especially if it is over many decades is fraught with problems.
The person you have become is shot through with conformity and self justification, these being the only armour one had to protect the 'original version' of who you think you are, from the "idealised individual", someone else had tried to fashion.
How to undo the the smooth exterior of so many contests and find the 'context' which got you through so many scrapes and near death experiences, when the only value you now have is the figure at the bottom of the insurance policy.