The Outsider

The sun is out again today, I should have left the home to go out and explore the highways and byways but, instead I still sit and stare out of the window, which explains how I came about the information.
The world outside used to be a place I wanted to be part of, particularly, to be amongst people to talk to and discuss whatever comes up between people. I was as far from being a recluse as was possible and even now when I force myself to get out I usually enjoy myself particularly in a conversation with like minded folk.
But there has been a sea change over the last few years. Perhaps its an ageing thing since people, as they get old have a propensity to begin to feel outside the ring, as it were, since we are no longer part of the economically active society with its active agenda and its sense of the importance of tomorrow. When one gets older and move outside the close circle of relatives and friends one becomes concious of the surroundings and the casual nature of ones conversational event which,  unlike the communication we were previously used to in the office and home is a somewhat lonely event. The moment is enjoyable but like a ride on the funfair it is soon over and requires more effort to reconstruct another high.
The backgrounds or the opinions of these casual interactions lead one to be fleet footed if not a little chameleon as one contends the discussion and banter that flows around the group. The effort is fun if you enjoy debate but one knows that your presence is inconsequential and one that has no substance.
Colin Wilson wrote a book about the 'Outsider' and examined a list of famous writers Kafka, Camus, Hemingway,Nietzsche, Dostoevsky all of whom were Outsiders, people who thrust themselves to the outside of the ring to look in to consider society and their position relative to the society they lived in.
To be introspective has its dangers of course, one can become lost in asking questions that are best left unanswered or at least confused about ones own personality but then for anything worth having, one has to put in the work to pose the question and find answers about ourselves that can be enriching and rewarding.
Sitting indoors and not bothering to engage in a social entertainment is a wholly different but equally rewarding 'passage of time' since that is what we do when we are no longer engaged in the engine of commerce.                 

http://twocents2012.blogspot.com.au/