After your gone

 

Subject: After your gone.







As we venture into this world of the doing, inevitably there is only withdrawal to contemplate and come to terms with.

The knowledge you gained over the years has little relevance for the young, the books you read sit in the bookshelves gathering dust, your eyesight not quite up to the job of reading the small print, you gravitate to the more friendly backlight of Kindle but somehow miss the moment when you reach into the row of books singling out one which has reignited your imagination. My family always question my obsession with books and as with so many things you can trace it back to your parents who now, long dead still sit in the background urging me on with caution.

That caution built up in another era where there was no quick fix, no escape from a poor choice and we were taught to make the best of what we had. There was no sense of ‘our rights’ or that society owe us something we were a cautionary experiment finding out for ourselves the right way or the wrong way. The expectancy amongst working class people was that of an individual nature although it certainly reflected your attitude to those around you, it was collaborative whilst being insular. The partial poverty of your surroundings, rich in essence but poor materially, lowered expectations but in some ways made them more valuable because they were personal. Invariably you didn’t challenge your situation in life but having accepted it began to explore what you could interrogating your perceptions and reading those of others. The excitement of travelling in someone else’s shoes was nearly as great as in your own, the interaction through the page with epoch making people in a biography or autobiography, the musicality of good writing and the way it stimulated you with its cadence is still one of the most treasured joys. The rise and fall of the story told in such a way that it hardly mattered where you join or leave it’s the experience that counts and is why the great authors live on through generation after generation and self discovery through books and music is part of life’s transition process.

When young the familiarisation of characters in picture books and their assimilation into your young psych, progresses through characters, much like yourself written around their adventures which could be yours. Then comes the romance period, or the do dare period when we break out from our mundane lives and fantasise about being someone or somewhere else. The middle busy years of work and  parenting switches our attention to playing ‘second fiddle, quite low down in the orchestra taking instructions from a sheet of music written by someone else.

It’s only in the closing stages of one’s life, the finale is played, the cadenza is struck and as the final notes die away hopefully they resonate for others after your gone.