Departing

Subject: Departing.

It's the day of departure. Departing is always an emotional moment. It's a separation of of family brought together with much optimism in a time scale which offered enough to craft so much. As usual we squandered most of the time, as if time isn't the most precious thing we have. The walks we didn't do, the restaurants we didn't try but most of all, the conversations we never engaged in are now all in the past, irretrievable, wasted.
Perhaps it's inevitable that when you change your routine the new territory in which you travel will be misused as you struggle to adjust to the sound of voices and directions which are not yours. This discovery of the need for flexibility is easier if you have a preempted  direction, dictated by the future such as the care of a baby or reuniting with a partner and the collegiate environment in which much of what is in this blog is sorted out. Unfurling events which give your mind a perspective focus on issues, not the darker place of reminiscence.
Words taken out of context, rows which were unnecessary but predictable, driven by  the priorities and patterns of life as they clash with the generations. The desperation to have a voice in the debate when your opinion has become partly redundant brought on  by changed perspective. Perspective you are expected to apply but ones in conflict with those you have carried around for most of your life. A new world in which you tussle to be heard still less understood. People have your best interests at heart feel they know best and from their perspective they do, but it's not always your perspective.  As you get older your values, the things you rightly or wrongly cherish as being the factors which have dictated your actions throughout your life suddenly become out of date  as new trends, new ways of thinking percolate the conversation. As you sit and hear the debate you see how isolated you have become by the 'surety' of youth and it's often unfounded optimism that it is always right.
And yet we still wish to be a part of the discussion. We want to be heard and struggle against the default position, withdrawing into ourselves, preserving our status quo.
How do we insist without,insisting. How do we keep our end of the emotional bargain without succumbing to ridicule.