The generation game

Subject: The generation game.

I'm reading a book about Richard the III and the intricacies of  life among'st his brothers and the competing claims of the landed Dukes for favors and ultimately, the crown.

The complexity was in large part the observation that we are owed a position in life, in Richards case because of lineage, his brother was king. 
The assumptions which flow from what we presume to be our role in life's hierarchy, father, mother, brother and sister to say nothing of grandparents, aunts and uncles leads to many reassessments. Life could be classed as a continual reassessment.
One of the problems in the latter passage through life old age is the changes which flow from growing older and the effect it has on the relationships which you hold with those close to you.
Role play suggests that roles don't change, that the status quo is fixed and hierarchies remain the same.  The relationship between a husband and wife remains similar. Both more or less the same age, both effecting the others growth and attainment, for good or for bad, a symbiotic coupling which as far as time is concerned wears well.
The relationship with children is different. They emerge from under the parental shadow and like a chrysalis, break out from the constraint of their childhood to free themselves from parental control. As a parent the tendency is not to recognise the changes until it is too late and to keep on being a parent long past your sell by date.
The initial hierarchical harmony around the dinner table, in the lounge or the shopping mall is no longer structured and depends on the degree people feel there is a need to keep the structure of the family unit together.

Even the question of a family structure is a moot point since it's structure depended, in the past, on need, which in turn led to the pecking order, 'giver and receiver'.
The reasoning therefore behind most relationships is a sense of dependability. We have an inherent fragility, a dislike to being alone and yet, being alone is often our default position. 
In any gathering where young and old gather there is a tension between the age groups, lessened when the different gender mix but crucial to maintaining a hierarchy, a symbolism of order. If the order is broken then until there is a passing away of the old order there is conflict and a measure of unhappiness. It's the control over this unhappiness that become the life's work at least until life ceases. That's not to say this is a negative thing, just another thing to comprehend.