What is it that makes some conversation easy and with others hard work.
Of course there is the question of topic and a willingness by the other party to give you the time, irrespective of their own time.
Of course if they genuinely dislike you the conversation will be short if not terse. But if they like you but still can not open up, what is the inhibitor.
Yesterday I had a talk with a chap which went on for a long time and finally when we decided to call it a day we both acknowledged how rewarding it had been. There was no particular topic we just talked perhaps a common thread was our willingness to delve into our respective past experience finding all kinds of common ground. Perhaps it's the 'common ground' which is important, perhaps it's the respect we hold for the person we are conversing with, perhaps it's finding someone who understands the subject matter or perhaps they are just a good listener as you unload what's been on your mind.
As we seek to understand what we understand we need someone who will understand.
If the generational gap is too wide it's difficult to bear down on the content of what you wish to say because the younger person has no contextual idea of what your describing. You might hold them by your enthusiasm for a while but eventually they will glaze over and mentally seek comfort in their own worldly experience.
It's this worldly experience which we carry around in our heads which has to find a mate, someone who apprehends the enthusiasm because they have the same enthusiasm themselves. That's not to say you have to be a car enthusiast to talk cars but it's the context of the car and society at large which brings a smile of recognition and recollection which is the true cement for a good conversation.
The trust you place in the world around you, which is the mainstay of your happiness is made up of communication with all kinds of people. Most of it is simply a reminder that you are still visible as you joke with the person behind the till in the supermarket Also some of it is at a different level, a sort of verbal box ticking exercise, to tell and be told of the things you value. It's a confirmation that they are still in place, those old emotions which you value so much and are readily confirmed by another.
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