Form

Subject: Form.

The word "form" means many things according to the dictionary.
Form, a visible shape or configuration of something.
Form, style or design in an artistic context.
Form, a particular way a thing exists.
There are many more definitions but the one I use today is the "Form" we, or certain sections of society applies to define our place in the social structure in which we live.
"Form" is an artificial construct, an excessive concern for 'precedent' or 'procedure'.

Reading Paul Scotts book "The Tower of Silence" one is led into a world concerning the last days of the Raj, and the British presence in India. A world inhibited by regimental and civilian "form". Scotts story tells of the strict observance of 'form' and the unhappy disconnect  between people, even between family when 'form' takes precedence.

It's a story of the assumptions which encompass our precarious lives, where we stupidly take so much for granted, even the temperament of those closest to us. 

It's a reminder of the gulf which often lie between our intentions and the perception of those intentions by others close to us.
The intention to please and be accommodating, of wishing to avoid conflict is perfectly normal and yet we all have convictions, about all kinds of things which if voiced can cut across even the best friendship. 

These convictions run deep and make up the psychological person we think we are. The convictions may be out of date and even run contrary to societies current opinion but we stick to them because they represent who we used to be in our discovery of who we are. The struggle to avoid being the "Emperor without clothes", is a clash between the old and the new, between old prejudice and newly forming prejudice, it has no 'absolute', no right or wrong.
In this way "Form" or our adherence to form is important since it marks us out as a child of a certain period or vintage. The stiff upper lip, the insistence of what we deem to be civilised behaviour, even the clash we endure between ourselves and our children is acceptable if form is at risk. 

Form is not just behaviour, it is the discipline behind who we think we are. We evolve yes but we also struggle to leave behind old practices. The new we rationalise has no surety to it whilst the old is proven and can be relied upon.
Of course there is a danger that too much 'form' can isolate you like the Yeti.
An obsession with social performance, for performance for performance sake leaves you isolated and alone. It may mark you for some sort of posterity, such as the  regimental buffer, well into his cups, reminiscing about the old days but that's about it.
Love has to be the most sort after epitaph.  It's the one thing which lingers on and is passed down to the many, even the ones who didn't know you but have heard of you in a good light will possibly say, he was a good'un.