Communication

Subject: Communication

Humour and light hearted banter is becoming rarer. Part of it is that the conversations we used to carry out in the pub, after a pint or two, which dissolved any crankiness  between us and we all enjoyed each other for its own sake. Today especially because of self isolating, we are confined to spend time behind our screens popping into each other's space, uninvited and some times at inopportune moments. The caller assumes so much, they can't read the signs from the body language or sample the atmosphere for potential conflict instead we have in our head a picture, a bubble image depicting a fictional character of the person we want to talk to, the one we enjoyed when chatting last time. 
People are fickle they rise and fall like dough in a baking tin, so dependent on their mood, on some quotient of happiness or sadness, each the conflicting ends of a spectrum which is us, looking for one and trying to avoid the other. Most of the time we are in neutral, drifting, with little passion for life, subsumed in the everlasting conundrum of what ifs and why not, always on edge, trying to second guess.
If you were a hermit living selfishly on a minimal existence then the complexities of life is simplified. The background noise made by others, the consideration they always demand eliminated, there's no need to emphasise ones own preference, it's there in your head like a good companion, sifting by your own likes and dislikes to your hearts content and if  true, is communication necessary, is it important to pick up the phone or send an email, should we simply stay stum. 
Are the thoughts in your head of any relevance to anyone else or is it a conversation which should remain private and personal.  If you lay it out for all to hear you maybe fall foul of being thought self centred, an egotist when all the time your conversation was merely a sounding board not to draw attention to yourself but rather to seek confirmation that your thoughts were with them for reasons of empathy. Conversation is a mirror, a way of integrating your thoughts with someone you respect, words act as a rubber band preventing you from straying too far from the people you care about. In this case you chose who you hold that conversation with and as likely as not they will be people most likely to confirm your views and if not agree with you you can always negotiate a truce which confirms that friendship. 

Perhaps it's all down to empathy, that strange flow of cognitive energy in which compassion and emotion play their part in recognising who we are, through others. Empathy that humanising aspect to our character, so often buried under the artificiality of modern life with its emphasis on winning.