Who went out and who stayed in.

Subject: Did you go out ?

Who went out and who stayed in ?
As the year drew to a close I found myself at home rather than being, 'out and about', partying or watching a firework display. Every year since I can't remember when I have promised myself to go and mix with other people on New Years Eve since this is, in essence, a social event to join your fellow countryman and celebrate the unity of being a part of some defined community.
It is not the nostalgia of past parties since I remember ruminating, each year about not going out and wondering why I was so apathetic.
New Years Eve is a moment when traditionally the reserve comes down and we embrace each other in a moment of goodwill and a willingness to turn and grasp the hand of strangers. Perhaps I am too blasé, too apathetic, too insular, too curmudgeonly or simply not inclined to bother. We all have our Achilles heel and mine has and always was "putting things off" not wishing enough to be doing what "others" are doing. I'v done a few things but not done some of the things I had promised myself to do which is no doubt the case for most of us. I can willingly rationalise my reasons and there are always good reasons for not doing things. It's usually a question of perspective, coming to terms with reality and not feeling sad or impoverished if you have left off the list something you had a passion for when younger.  A list after all is only a wish to have, or to be something which is not part of ones immediate personality or personal accomplishment.  The danger of seeing oneself as, "someone else", of inflating ones natural tendency  to the extent of contorting your natural capability and has many dangers.
Conversely there is great joy in recognising who you are, your limitations but above all, your strengths. It provides a profile which you recognise and which you become familiar with. It cements who you are and hopefully gives others some pleasure in having known you.