What might have been

 

Subject: What might have been.

It's my daughters birthday today, another milestone for her and equally, one for my wife and I. These milestones through life are the stepping stones by which we came to the present day although at the time we didn't realise that, they were simply a natural trajectory one following the other as if we too had joined the script of a play which we all had a part.

Depending on which culture you grew up in and the essence of that culture to make you conform, we all seem to follow a similar path. It's as if we were programmed  to perform like dolphins swimming round and round in the same pool rising every so often to break the surface of the water with a flourish before sliding back into obscurity. I suppose the energy to put on a performance is for most of us too great and we rather find peace of mind and anonymity at the bottom of the pool dodging those fellow dolphins who always had an eye for the fish to tempt them to do more tricks.

This analogy to a beautifully sleek mover like a dolphin and our own pathetic cumbersome journey is not particularly appropriate but we have a habit of scoring ourselves well in what ever we do and find excuses easy when we fail. Of course failure is dependant on the bar you set yourself and watching a program where a woman spends a few days with the ultra successful, the multimillionaire in his or her mansion, with every conceivable accoutrement to make life easy. The show I watched was of a man from Bolton, a guy from a large working class family who had made it "large" as they say but who in his making had never forgotten his values of family and friends. His home was an ultra pristine balance between having things which cost a lot of money but which didn't come across as obscenely flashy. Everything had its place in the jigsaw which was his life and his balance character shone through the whole program.

How does one contemplate ones own life against his, ones own meagre achievements against his mega list of successes. His background the same but his objectives very different. How do we come to terms with our own under performance given that we only have one life to lead. We can fall back on the psychoanalysis of needs and direction. We can argue that making money cheapens your ideals and promotes exclusivity when all you wanted was companionship but in this guys lifestyle his family were close and seemed to genuinely respect him as a father and as a person. His good looks and clean cut demeanour seemed perfectly at home amongst his wealth and I must admit after the program I cast a quick look around my own excuse for underachieving and thought, I mustn't dwell to much on what might have been.