Narcissism

Subject: Narcissism.

I have just been watching a home made video on Facebook, made by someone who I have great respect for describing her fear that much of the human race is conflicted with people who are narcissistic, people who's self interest skews their capacity to be interested in the people around them and often destroys any basis for a loving relationship.
Under what one might call, 'the normality of individualism', and given my contention that we are all individuals  who chance 'our arm' trying to absorb another human-being into the complexity of our own personal obit, usually a member of the opposite sex and  In doing so, we expose ourselves to the risk of being subsumed by the other person and risk putting paid to our own freedom. 
One of the warnings in  the video was that of succumbing to flattery, only to find that it was merely a ploy to win you over and that the main reason had been one of your domination. 
Even in the most healthy relationship, there is the tussle between people to be acknowledged and valued. It's not a desire to be dominant but simply to be given an opportunity to be heard. 
At birth we are totally reliant on our parents but even early on in our childhood there was always the latent rebellious side which wanted to be 'off piste' and resented any sort of advice. 
It raises the question, is this 'no advice seeking person' the real you or are we, in adulthood craving a return to some sort of embryonic security, by seeking a bond with someone else.  But can we ever find any sort of external security when the mind is continually interpreting the world around according to what that persons experience and deems the world to be. How can we be reading from the same page if, for the other person that page hasn't been written yet.
We all have some measure of narcissism, vanity, self absorption, egotism call it what you will but so long as we don't wish to harm anyone, then the condition is relatively benign. It allows us to be 'who we are' without the undeniable responsibility of always considering someone else. 
Unfortunately it's often the case that the expectation of the 'other person' is not in sync. The one demands more attention, more support, more understanding, the other, less attention, less support, less understanding and it's not necessarily the fault of the latent narcissist that the 'other person' feels, to use a phrase 'unloved and misunderstood'. Both people are behaving normally.  Nor is it the fault of the 'empath' that they feel the default position of their partner is a sense of that persons self importance, it's just that expectations are different. A sense of self importance is intrinsic to well being.
Boys and girls reach that period in their lives when they 'need someone'.  
50 years ago boys had more independence than girls. They traveled more easily, their comfort zone was wider and they could take risks. Today the field is much more open and whilst girls are still at physical risk, (depending which part of the world your in), the optimism provided by the "rights issue"  sometimes gives a false impression that everyone is reading that largely Western orientated concept, much the same way.
Writing is also borderline narcissistic in that we fashion our writing around our own sense  of what is permissible. We self indulge and play to our ego, our self absorbed assumption of what is right and what is wrong.  
Perhaps in general, there is no right or wrong, only shades of opinion and opinion, after all is  only based on opinion, ad infinitum.