Subject:
The parts the stars turn down.
It's a fact of
life that we place a great deal of faith in the fact that others are on the
same metaphorical page as ourselves. We presume that because we say
something it is heard in a way which we wished
it to be understood. Our lives are spent untangling misunderstanding or hoping next time to be clearer, less confrontational, less dogmatic.
Our relationships which began with our parents and continued with our wives children and friends and people we
work with has often been fraught with mistakes, mostly verbal but usually damaging.
The measure of a strong healthy relationship is the speed of forgiveness and the search to do better next time.
We
take friendship and the relationship which flows from that sometimes
for granted but often it's based on the assumption that the person knows
you
well enough not to judge you adversely. The assumption that they know
you
better and therefore understand and possibly make allowances.
In the hierarchy of relationships the love for ones parents is of a different measure to the love of ones wife and
ones children.
Parents are often taken for granted once their guiding hand and the
protection they offer becomes subordinate to ones own ability to provide
the substance and security they have offered.
They grow old and feeble whilst you grow strong and able. We forget that they were once a replica of you at the stage your at.
Falling in love and finding a mate is often hit and miss as the values we search for in others is missing and so we
revert to the
physical attraction which drew us to the person in the first place. If
there is a mismatch it is hoped we will find a learning curve in which both parties can begin to understand one another. Discover new attributes,
new strengths and attractions in the process. Falling in love is after all an emotional destabilising period when we often make fools of
ourselves because we can't
see the proverbial wood for the trees. From a contractual
point of view it's a risky moment to place so much of your future
happiness on, this misty vision of the future. In business terms there's
probably
a clause in the contract releasing you of any responsibility because of
diminished responsibility.
Children are yet another emotional creation. We think of them as our own, we even describe them as our own flesh
and blood and
yet we repeat the same mistake as our parents did with us. We place them
in aspic in our attempt to preserve the image we have of them as our children. We make few allowances for their growing
up and growing away from
our cherished beliefs until it is too late and then begins the stumble
to find a new relationship. The new relationship of course is now biased
in their favour as we grow old
and doddery, our usefulness has become a liability
and as we live longer these days our frailty is more pronounced than
when we were children and parents died in their late 60s early 70s. We
had no notion
of dementia or care homes, or of our beloved parents turning back into infants unable to care for themselves.
There
are no answers to life other than you make the best of what comes your
way. The good the bad and the ugly are the constituents of this play
we put on whilst alive. We assume the play must have a script written
by a higher
force than our self but it's more likely that the bit parts we take are the ones the stars turn down.