Being offside for most of the game

Most of our lives are what could be termed 'ordinary'. Many lives are troubled with irritating everyday crisis, small crisis, often concerned with money, sometimes emotional conflict but never the less, a crisis. The difficulty in the small ordinary persons life is that they are just as full of pathos as are the famously important lives but not as visible. 

That's not to say that there aren't any successes, far from it.  Its the scale. Much of the success goes under the radar we don't pick up on the self-congratulatory smile or experience the glow of satisfaction when some one near and dear are successful in their  own lives.

Growing up in a working class society where the scale of celebratory success was rare and simple pleasures took the place of big ones, one became sensitive to an undercurrent of complacency as things just ticked along in time honoured fashion.

No man or woman is an island but in so many ways we learnt to isolate our emotions and kept them bottled up within. The thought that a man would produce tears when upset was an anathema, it was so contrary to our thoughts of masculinity. 

As the bard said :-

"It makes us bare the ills we have than fly to others we know not of.

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, and the native hue of resolution, is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought".

These days it's thought strange if a bloke can't shed a tear or two, even break down into an emotional weeping wreck as we are evermore diverted towards our feminine side. Today being outwardly distraught is thought to be a sign that we are 'human', when in fact it could simply be  a sign that we have lost that innate strength to shoulder our discomfort and carry on.

Man and 'his' values are part of an evolutionary process which, until the last 70 years were determined by his strength and guile to fight battles with a range of foes, to rise up when necessary and defend and support his family. In the years since the end of the Second World War there has been a huge shift in opinion regarding the role a man was required to fulfil.  His skills with his fists were demonised, his macho approach to virtually everything was lambasted as Neanderthal, he has had to redefine his purpose, even his presence in the conjugal bed has been technically usurped by science and I see in the latest findings his sperm count is plummeting.

He is deafened, morning noon and night by the cry of the feminist to be less combative, more accommodating and yet these words, do not mirror  the modern women. 

Jane Austen's characterisation of men and women, particularly women, bears no relationship with today's man or woman. And rightly so.

The traditionally submissive female has been taken over by by a more aggressive, "rights" consumed person, who has all the makings of a man on steroids. Their intellect and their sense of what is important makes them strong adversaries, if adversaries they seem to be.  Society and the civilising effect of potty training has meant we no longer use physical strength to define our wishes but rely rather on guile and subterfuge. These are skills a woman has in abundance. Having been subordinate to the raw power a man has at his disposal, she hones her subtle sexuality to make herself indispensable as he evolves from "taker" to "giver". 

Man he is simple too naive to consider implications which women evaluate instinctively. He is blind to the pitfalls because he believes he is not only player but the referee. 

It's only when the whistle is blown for the game to begin does he realise that the rules have changed and is continually blown up for being offside.