Most of our lives are what could be termed 'ordinary'. Many lives are troubled with irritating everyday crisis, small
crisis, often concerned with money, sometimes emotional conflict but never the less, a crisis. The difficulty in the small ordinary persons
life is that they are just as full of pathos as are the famously important lives but not as
visible.
That's not to say
that there aren't any successes, far from it. Its the scale. Much of
the success goes under the radar we don't pick up on the
self-congratulatory smile or experience the glow of satisfaction
when some one near and dear are successful in their own lives.
Growing up in a
working class society where the scale of celebratory success was rare
and simple pleasures took the place of big ones, one became sensitive to
an undercurrent of complacency as things just
ticked along in time honoured fashion.
No man or woman is
an island but in so many ways we learnt to isolate our emotions and
kept them bottled up within. The thought that a man would produce tears
when upset was an anathema, it was so contrary
to our thoughts of masculinity.
As the bard said :-
"It makes us bare the ills we have than fly to others we know not of.
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, and the native hue of resolution, is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of
thought".
These days it's thought strange if a bloke can't shed a tear or two, even break down into an emotional weeping
wreck as we are
evermore diverted towards our feminine side. Today being outwardly
distraught is thought to be a sign that we are 'human', when in fact it
could simply be a sign that we have lost that
innate strength to shoulder our discomfort and carry on.
Man and 'his' values are part of an evolutionary process which, until the last 70 years were determined by his
strength and
guile to fight battles with a range of foes, to rise up when necessary
and defend and support his family. In the years since the end of the
Second World War there has been a huge shift in
opinion regarding the role
a man was required to fulfil. His skills with his fists were
demonised, his macho approach to virtually everything was lambasted as
Neanderthal, he has had to redefine his
purpose, even his presence in the conjugal bed has been technically usurped by science and I see in the latest findings his sperm count is plummeting.
He is deafened, morning noon and night by the cry of the feminist to be less combative, more accommodating and
yet these words, do not mirror the modern women.
Jane Austen's characterisation of men and women, particularly women, bears no relationship with today's man or
woman. And rightly so.
The traditionally submissive female has been taken over by by a more aggressive, "rights" consumed person, who
has all the
makings of a man on steroids. Their intellect and their sense of what is
important makes them strong adversaries, if adversaries they seem to
be. Society and the civilising effect of potty
training has meant we no longer
use physical strength to define our wishes but rely rather on guile and
subterfuge. These are skills a woman has in abundance. Having been
subordinate to the raw power
a man has at his disposal, she hones her subtle sexuality to make herself indispensable as he evolves from "taker" to "giver".
Man he is simple too
naive to consider implications which women evaluate instinctively. He is blind to the pitfalls
because he believes he is not only player but the referee.
It's only when the whistle is blown for the game to begin does he realise that the rules have changed and is
continually blown up for being offside.