Thursday, 16 July 2015

Avoid being average


They say that civilisation is skin deep. The inference from that is that deep within us we are truer more real than the persona which we reveal to others.
It's a sad thought that we feel the need to present this false picture, perhaps its based on feeling insecure, constantly searching for a way to project ourselves as we assume others would wish to see us.
This constant ongoing project to please others is not only soul destroying, sapping so much of our energy and real creativity, it suggests an ambivalence in our lives which is unnecessary and damaging.
One of the "issues" that accompany any sort of "combined"relationship is the assumption that all parties are on the same page.
Men when they get together leave much of their prejudice at home and engage in a loose non binding association which succeed by having an interest in the "difference' between us". We learn to assimilate the interests and the hobbies in the spirit of genuine camaraderie and affiliate our friendship through an ongoing discovery of the other person.
Closer to home the wrestling match that is a marriage excludes for many this appreciation of our difference, but makes these differences, a the focus of disharmony. It's as if the difference was a manifestation of a "lack of loyalty" to an ill defined cause.   It's the concept of a "matrimonial cause" which seen from the others perspective is at the root of our unhappiness.
As we try to be a person "acceptable to all", we loose that vital spark of who we really are. 
as individuals. We are more suited to the blokish "see you tomorrow" , without being enveloped in the minutiae or the interrogation of your every move which becomes a pain.
Single or married we should rejoice in our individuality since its this individuality which distinguishes us from the next person and is often the initial thing which attracts one person to another. To be attracted and then to try to choke it off is plain silly !
Viva la difference should be on everyone's lips as they seek out interesting people and interesting relationships.
 Conformity is an acceptance that 'average' is cool. You owe it to yourself not to be average !

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