In the eyes of the beholder.

I was thinking about the conundrum we have, or sometimes find we have with the business of seeking some sort of equilibrium in our personnel relationships.
We are often torn between two positions. That of needing to be able to communicate and to feel the presence of another human being or alternatively of wanting ones space to do things alone.

The presence around the house of someone to say Hi and to share many of the daily events with to is comforting. 
The inability to do anything without asking the other person if they want to join in or at least not mind if you do, can be debilitating.
Much of our lives is, in many ways a compromise and was so from the start. As a child we were protected and cosseted to avoid hurting ourselves. As a young person many of our hopes and desires were thwarted either by others or by a turn of event of which we had no control.
As we matured and began to form relationships outside of the family the topsy turvy nature of of our internal mental world with the internal world of others meant that we were at best, poor judges of that "others" world and we are bound to make many mistakes along the way.
As if to make it more difficult we ourselves are constantly changing in our needs and priorities and so, with so many moving targets is it any wonder we constantly miss the target.
Of course you have to decide what the target is. Is it security, is it having a good time, is it knowledge about the world around and probably more important about yourself. Does it require the close affinity with another person or is it the case of when allowing someone to get too close it becomes claustrophobic.
In any relationship where sharing is presumed normal, the inter flow of information is important as you attempt to meld your personalities into one. The danger in these close arrangements is that although they are to be desired and when achieved lead to a great deal of happiness and contentment it can also produce a tendency in one or both individuals, to want to change the person to something more like some sort of "ideal" which you had grown up thinking was the "ideal".
The tussle between people, one trying to create something different and the other resenting any thought of change because they were happy with who they are often leads to a massive disconnect and unhappiness, particularly for the person who is set on the change.
It's crazy in so many ways to expect any other person on the planet to think like you do with your unique background. Even if you find someone who you jell with, its only peripheral, there is so much compromising going on as each searches for an understanding of what the other wants which at best is a guess and often wide of the mark.
Your compromise means that not only can you be heading in the wrong direction to what the other person wants but you are certainly moving away from what you ideally want.
The perfect compromise is where no one gets what they want and one is continually feeling frustrated.
Of course the antidote is not to seek companionship and see the world through your own self centred spectacles. Isolated you are not in any danger of feeling the rough edge of someone's tongue and only your own sense of what is right or wrong is important. In the silence of your own universe the answers to all questions are yours to discover but there is one gigantic failing, you never have the pleasure of sharing your discovery with anyone else !!!